Puppy love no longer taboo

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By Wang Jie (Shanghai Daily) 08:30, September 02, 2013

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Once terrified that puppy love would destroy children's prospects, Chinese parents today see benefits — and more tweens and teens are falling in love. Wang Jie reports.

Puppy love used to be virtually taboo in China and parents were overwhelmingly opposed, fearing early love (zao lian 早恋) would distract children from all-important studies and change their life path and prospects for the worse.

Today more and more children in high school, and even middle school, are falling in love, as evidenced by numerous "Generation Z Puppy Love" chat groups, swirling debate on the Internet and news reports.

In July, 549 girls and young women called Shanghai's first hotline (6587-6866) for advice on unintended pregnancies. Of the callers, 14.1 percent were students from middle school and 19.4 percent from high school and vocational school. Middle school students are between 12 and 15, while high school and vocational school students range from 16 to 18.

More than 50 abortions were performed at the No. 411 Hospital of People's Liberation Army, 30 percent of them undergone by middle, high and vocational school students on summer holiday.

Hotline doctors emphasized the need for meaningful sex education, which is limited or nonexistent in China.

In the past, if a teacher spotted any signs of early love, the parents would be notified, asked to go to the school and discuss the problem. Teachers would separate the two during school hours and parents would ensure there would be no contact after class.

In 2009 a furor erupted when Heilongjiang Province revised a regulation in "The Ordinance on Juvenile Protection of Heilongjiang Province" stating: "Parents and other guardians should reprimand and educate children who are minors when they are involved in misconduct and unlawful acts including puppy love, illegal cohabitation, drug use and prostitution and should prohibit and rectify such misconduct and unlawful acts."

But today, as young love is everywhere in TV, film and other media, early puppy love is increasing. Children are also maturing earlier sexually, as a result of a healthier diet and parents are more tolerant.

In a hotline survey of 309 parents, 54 percent said they did not oppose relationships in high school, saying it could be a good thing.

"I myself have a very bad puppy love memory from high school," says Christine Liu, a 40-year-old accountant with a 14-year-old daughter. "My mother was so worried that she kept asking me who the boy calling me was. Actually, there was nothing between us and we were just friends. But my mother was so freaked out that she even checked my diary and listened to my phone calls."

She would never treat her own daughter the same way, Liu says. "Early love is part of the growing process. I can understand since I was once young."

Her sentiments are shared by Helen Zhu, who has a 15-year-old son.

"Frankly, I hope my son does find a girl he likes in class. He's too sloppy and never cares about his appearance, sometimes wearing the same pair of trousers for a week," says Zhu. "I tell him a man's appearance is important and he should at least clean up, but he pays no attention.

"If he had a crush on a girl, I'll bet he would immediately change. I would love to see that," she adds.

While parents are still concerned that students must keep up their grades and not get too distracted, many are looking at the positive and healthy side of puppy love.